








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 634 | 32% |
| Smokes | 146 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 792 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 380 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,134 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eterniity | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Dosvla | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | XxDIOxX | 43% | 47 |
| #4 | podyann | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eterniity | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Dosvla | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | XxDIOxX | 43% | 47 |
| #4 | podyann | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | podyann | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Dosvla | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | XxDIOxX | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Eterniity | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | podyann | 314 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | XxDIOxX | 194 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Dosvla | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Eterniity | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eterniity | +2.43 | 49 | 70 |
| #2 | podyann | +1.80 | 57 | 69 |
| #3 | Dosvla | +1.51 | 44 | 48 |
| #4 | XxDIOxX | +0.35 | 48 | 48 |
| #5 | Eipoc | -5.19 | 7 | 48 |





