








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 268 | 18% |
| Smokes | 440 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 428 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 341 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $150,453 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broskiiiillz | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | beistoskar | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | BER1KS | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | phamuz | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Limbo | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BER1KS | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beistoskar | +2.43 | 78 | 77 |
| #2 | $ungJ | +0.85 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | BER1KS | +0.77 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | Z33bzz | +0.31 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | Limbo | -0.43 | 64 | 50 |





