








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 374 | 16% |
| Smokes | 436 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 803 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 712 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $418,110 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saltsu | 46% | 39 |
| #2 | Mc Rambo | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | elvedy | 33% | 15 |
| #4 | SalmonSormi | 27% | 22 |
| #5 | helkkis91 | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saltsu | 46% | 39 |
| #2 | Mc Rambo | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | elvedy | 33% | 15 |
| #4 | SalmonSormi | 27% | 22 |
| #5 | helkkis91 | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SalmonSormi | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Mc Rambo | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Saltsu | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | helkkis91 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saltsu | 90 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | helkkis91 | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | SalmonSormi | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | elvedy | 39 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mc Rambo | 20 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SalmonSormi | +1.76 | 53 | 68 |
| #2 | Saltsu | +0.67 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | Mc Rambo | -0.13 | 45 | 61 |
| #4 | elvedy | -0.27 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | helkkis91 | -1.05 | 60 | 78 |





