








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 73 matches | 2,018 | |
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1907 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1225 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1423 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1178 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,653 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 467 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodFather KD.BET | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | SHREDDED SICKKUNT KD.BET | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | TheWOK | 50% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodFather KD.BET | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | SHREDDED SICKKUNT KD.BET | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | TheWOK | 50% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheWOK | 29 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | GodFather KD.BET | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | SHREDDED SICKKUNT KD.BET | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheWOK | 300 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | GodFather KD.BET | 99 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | SHREDDED SICKKUNT KD.BET | 31 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edde | +3.03 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | SHREDDED SICKKUNT KD.BET | -0.29 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | TheWOK | -1.10 | 43 | 54 |
| #4 | GodFather KD.BET | -4.06 | 39 | 56 |





