








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3360 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3114 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2643 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1913 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $896,208 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CRBNFIRE ♛ | 50% | 60 |
| #8 | Sanso | 50% | 72 |
| #9 | ✯Dezety | 50% | 149 |
| #10 | BIGMANBENNY_ | 46% | 65 |
| #11 | The king of Congo | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯Dezety | 528 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Sanso | 482 | 0.33 | 13 min |
| #3 | The king of Congo | 197 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | BIGMANBENNY_ | 144 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hermanj | 121 | 0.14 | 3 min |





