








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 968 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 250 matches | ||
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8452 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5576 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6482 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6264 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,101,751 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ➊︎➊︎➋︎✦︎ Barbas | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | :)MINEIRO(: | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Dowyi | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | NaetaPT | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | ººVICENTEºº | 43% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ➊︎➊︎➋︎✦︎ Barbas | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | :)MINEIRO(: | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Dowyi | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | NaetaPT | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | ººVICENTEºº | 43% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ➊︎➊︎➋︎✦︎ Barbas | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ººVICENTEºº | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | NaetaPT | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Dowyi | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | :)MINEIRO(: | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ººVICENTEºº | 224 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | NaetaPT | 172 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dowyi | 148 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | ➊︎➊︎➋︎✦︎ Barbas | 81 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | :)MINEIRO(: | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dowyi | +2.01 | 71 | 70 |
| #2 | ✪ Skaviz | +1.88 | 72 | 68 |
| #3 | :)MINEIRO(: | +0.03 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | ººVICENTEºº | -0.75 | 42 | 68 |
| #5 | ➊︎➊︎➋︎✦︎ Barbas | -1.24 | 40 | 65 |





