








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,889 | |
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4488 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3245 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1564 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2761 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $722,067 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JIMMY Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ on 360hz | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | r1 | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | ✪ Sikkertnorsk | 57% | 81 |
| #4 | Haze | 55% | 227 |
| #5 | Selix | 54% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Haze | 55% | 227 |
| #5 | Selix | 54% | 145 |
| #6 | KvH | 53% | 19 |
| #7 | Vinnie᠌ P | 51% | 116 |
| #8 | TinG💔 | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haze | 17 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Selix | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | JIMMY Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ on 360hz | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | r1 | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Vinnie᠌ P | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haze | 602 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Selix | 252 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vinnie᠌ P | 198 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | JIMMY Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ on 360hz | 108 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ Sikkertnorsk | 96 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯ Myōjin | +0.99 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | Haze | +0.92 | 63 | 63 |
| #3 | Selix | +0.52 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | TinG💔 | +0.17 | 67 | 56 |
| #5 | r1 | -0.22 | 82 | 48 |





