








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 199 | 11% |
| Smokes | 398 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 370 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 767 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,243 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orz | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | riNo o_O | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | 芦苇微微 | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | ➐︎senapanɢ™ | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Mat Nayan | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sorte Diaboli | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | E4GL3BR4V0 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Jack | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Mat Nayan | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiellez | +2.24 | 87 | 44 |
| #2 | Sorte Diaboli | +2.09 | 68 | 50 |
| #3 | riNo o_O | +2.08 | 48 | 55 |
| #4 | 芦苇微微 | +1.92 | 39 | 62 |
| #5 | Akashi Seijuro | +0.98 | 60 | 64 |





