








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 930 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1096 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1876 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1550 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,325 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nycra | 49% | 67 |
| #2 | SprayingThomas | 49% | 86 |
| #3 | Blue-_-Hawk | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | nuVo | 48% | 107 |
| #5 | © j0n3s ッ ™ © | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SprayingThomas | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Nycra | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | nuVo | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Blue-_-Hawk | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | iBimsDieFeuerwehr | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuVo | 382 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | iBimsDieFeuerwehr | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Blue-_-Hawk | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nycra | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | SprayingThomas | 38 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blue-_-Hawk | +2.71 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | SprayingThomas | +1.61 | 53 | 30 |
| #3 | iBimsDieFeuerwehr | +0.13 | 44 | 63 |
| #4 | nuVo | +0.12 | 54 | 77 |
| #5 | SmoKeY | +0.11 | 47 | 64 |





