








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6279 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3993 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3481 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3698 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,981 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 861 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJWEEDMAN | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | Joker* | 43% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJWEEDMAN | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | Joker* | 43% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joker* | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | CJWEEDMAN | 5 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJWEEDMAN | 183 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Joker* | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJWEEDMAN | +4.20 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | QeefKing | -1.23 | 35 | 65 |
| #3 | Joker* | -1.23 | 29 | 61 |





