








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1023 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1797 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1219 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1514 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,579 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pferdegandalf | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | ZSBeaTZ | 59% | 82 |
| #3 | tshiken | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | nemesiS | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Ryku | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Youkker | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | m1 ;. | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | ><(('> meng ♫ | 42% | 38 |
| #9 | »Kittyhawk« | 27% | 11 |
| #10 | DeltΔ | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZSBeaTZ | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | »Kittyhawk« | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | nemesiS | 2 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | ><(('> meng ♫ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Youkker | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZSBeaTZ | 91 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | ><(('> meng ♫ | 91 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | tshiken | 91 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pferdegandalf | 77 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | Youkker | 76 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nemesiS | +4.93 | 95 | 59 |
| #2 | ><(('> meng ♫ | +1.90 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | tshiken | +1.31 | 88 | 67 |
| #4 | Ryku | +0.49 | 80 | 75 |
| #5 | »Kittyhawk« | +0.38 | 94 | 54 |





