








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 754 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3824 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5174 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3999 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4072 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,218,421 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fähund | 278 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | Skutten | 236 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fähund | 200 | 0.36 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pjerkapers | 173 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Max Payne | 150 | 0.16 | 3 min |





