








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 941 | 26% |
| Smokes | 594 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1295 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 820 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,951 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hhepe | 51% | 72 |
| #2 | 「Nipe」 | 50% | 62 |
| #3 | Ode-Mode | 47% | 81 |
| #4 | Heretic | 46% | 67 |
| #5 | Palat | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ode-Mode | 440 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | hhepe | 327 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | 「Nipe」 | 125 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Heretic | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | <-k_ilm0-> #OnVAC | 46 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ode-Mode | +3.23 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | hhepe | +2.79 | 80 | 84 |
| #3 | Iqpl | +0.34 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Palat | -1.13 | 27 | 67 |
| #5 | <-k_ilm0-> #OnVAC | -1.41 | 49 | 73 |





