








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
83 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 55 | 24% |
| Smokes | 68 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 55 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 51 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $16,450 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | purple is bad | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | looking for cs girlfriend | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | ELTACo | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | JohnnyDrama | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Illuminatus™ | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Chlüpplisack | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | señor mustardo | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | R00ney1988 | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | El Champíto | 0% | 2 |
| #10 | Eli-G | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | señor mustardo | 33 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #2 | Illuminatus™ | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | purple is bad | 6 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Eli-G | 5 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | Chlüpplisack | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | purple is bad | +3.18 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Illuminatus™ | +1.84 | 60 | 57 |
| #3 | looking for cs girlfriend | +0.61 | 61 | 15 |
| #4 | Chlüpplisack | +0.18 | 46 | 16 |
| #5 | JohnnyDrama | -0.58 | 58 | 70 |





