








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 646 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1068 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1595 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 855 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $498,188 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TOP G || Tate | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | S1ri0-StOoOoOneD | 47% | 91 |
| #5 | ScrAt | 47% | 107 |
| #6 | Dhalon | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | m4tr1x | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScrAt | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | S1ri0-StOoOoOneD | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | m4tr1x | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Dhalon | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | TOP G || Tate | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScrAt | 174 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | S1ri0-StOoOoOneD | 115 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | TOP G || Tate | 57 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | m4tr1x | 56 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dhalon | 42 | 0.18 | 1 min |





