








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4053 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3668 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3517 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3933 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $623,172 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mini | 59% | 90 |
| #2 | The-OG-Ryan | 52% | 144 |
| #3 | orange | 51% | 197 |
| #4 | -XurXruX- | 51% | 91 |
| #5 | -jam- | 50% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | The-OG-Ryan | 52% | 144 |
| #3 | orange | 51% | 197 |
| #4 | -XurXruX- | 51% | 91 |
| #5 | -jam- | 50% | 92 |
| #6 | What up Grimm ? | 44% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orange | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Mini | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | -jam- | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | What up Grimm ? | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | The-OG-Ryan | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orange | 1168 | 0.28 | 30 min |
| #2 | The-OG-Ryan | 583 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | What up Grimm ? | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | -XurXruX- | 153 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | -jam- | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _deriseD | +1.88 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | The-OG-Ryan | -0.15 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | orange | -0.41 | 53 | 70 |
| #4 | What up Grimm ? | -0.72 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | -jam- | -1.19 | 84 | 47 |





