








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2067 | 31% |
| Smokes | 852 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2063 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1633 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $852,934 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Surlan | 46% | 67 |
| #2 | zaraelia | 45% | 67 |
| #3 | TheHunter | 44% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Surlan | 46% | 67 |
| #2 | zaraelia | 45% | 67 |
| #3 | TheHunter | 44% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaraelia | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | TheHunter | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Surlan | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaraelia | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Surlan | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | TheHunter | 27 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaraelia | +0.03 | 65 | 37 |
| #2 | TheHunter | -0.09 | 30 | 30 |
| #3 | HuronKing | -1.48 | 13 | 40 |
| #4 | Surlan | -3.36 | 38 | 28 |





