








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 770 | 28% |
| Smokes | 564 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 614 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 760 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,511 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raesche | 100% | 7 |
| #2 | Dibes | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Fredrick™ | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | alx | 47% | 70 |
| #5 | Jeff | 43% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Oda Noboostnaga | 37% | 46 |
| #7 | I'm Baby | 35% | 55 |
| #8 | Scruff | 32% | 28 |
| #9 | Mr. Boost Mobile 4 Lines at $25 | 32% | 19 |
| #10 | KaobeiKapy | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Oda Noboostnaga | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | alx | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Scruff | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oda Noboostnaga | 252 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jeff | 248 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | alx | 245 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | I'm Baby | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dibes | 51 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fredrick™ | +6.05 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | Oda Noboostnaga | +2.73 | 70 | 77 |
| #3 | alx | +1.49 | 63 | 74 |
| #4 | Raesche | +0.71 | 70 | 28 |
| #5 | Scruff | +0.38 | 70 | 49 |





