








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 249 | 16% |
| Smokes | 425 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 469 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 401 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,421 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | PasiaK | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | ๐MalicE๐ | 46% | 57 |
| #4 | Noot Noot | 41% | 176 |
| #5 | Tommo | 36% | 56 |
| #6 | [RS] Barry Scott | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noot Noot | 34 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | ๐MalicE๐ | 8 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Tommo | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | PasiaK | 6 | 0.0199 |
| #5 | [RS] Barry Scott | 1 | 0.0035 |





