








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 727 | 26% |
| Smokes | 824 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 633 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 607 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $164,326 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiki TAKA | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Joker | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | KeKoFruiT | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiki TAKA | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Joker | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | KeKoFruiT | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joker | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joker | 209 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tiki TAKA | 21 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #3 | KeKoFruiT | 16 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiki TAKA | +2.43 | 38 | 53 |
| #2 | Zullmago | +1.16 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | Joker | +0.91 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | KeKoFruiT | -1.16 | 68 | 75 |





