








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4395 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3416 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2909 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2019 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $817,628 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | bandolero | 70% | 99 |
| #6 | Fruta Mole | 69% | 32 |
| #7 | sweezy | 65% | 40 |
| #8 | gucci con tacchini | 64% | 22 |
| #9 | exd | 60% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bandolero | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Leoni | 7 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Sinyster | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Fruta Mole | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | exd | 5 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinyster | 421 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | bandolero | 413 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | sweezy | 177 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | exd | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Leoni | 116 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heisen | +4.90 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | dark | +4.11 | 83 | 74 |
| #3 | Sinyster | +3.41 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | bandolero | +0.68 | 73 | 72 |
| #5 | Fruta Mole | -0.24 | 75 | 61 |





