








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 467 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2523 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2128 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3905 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3357 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,582,241 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cripser | 53% | 213 |
| #2 | Karrato | 51% | 248 |
| #3 | George Feeny | 49% | 63 |
| #4 | koL | 49% | 370 |
| #5 | husky | 49% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koL | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | zed0K | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | husky | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Cripser | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Karrato | 7 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zed0K | 1459 | 0.21 | 34 min |
| #2 | husky | 1024 | 0.19 | 31 min |
| #3 | koL | 1018 | 0.13 | 32 min |
| #4 | Cripser | 466 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | George Feeny | 280 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vulcanium | +3.56 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | koL | +2.12 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | zed0K | +1.38 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | Cripser | +1.19 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | husky | +0.17 | 75 | 70 |





