








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1873 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1579 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1279 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1058 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,974 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧ pitoycontel Crowman | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | NGH ZÁITSEV ⟁ | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | NGH Delta -R- | 54% | 78 |
| #4 | ? pitoycontel vba | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | SOOKOUU.KEN | Snake -B- | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧ pitoycontel Crowman | 8 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | ? pitoycontel vba | 6 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | NGH Delta -R- | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | NGH ZÁITSEV ⟁ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | SOOKOUU.KEN | Snake -B- | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickZao † | 182 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #2 | NGH Delta -R- | 127 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | ⛧ pitoycontel Crowman | 109 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | NGH ZÁITSEV ⟁ | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | SOOKOUU.KEN | Snake -B- | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧ pitoycontel Crowman | +2.80 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | NickZao † | +2.48 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | NGH ZÁITSEV ⟁ | +0.51 | 62 | 61 |
| #4 | SOOKOUU.KEN | Snake -B- | +0.48 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | ? pitoycontel vba | +0.37 | 92 | 50 |





