








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1640 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1668 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1505 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1093 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,441 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Wilco | 62% | 13 |
| #8 | OC | 61% | 18 |
| #9 | GrandDad Cleaner | 60% | 103 |
| #10 | Onkel Fester | 51% | 43 |
| #11 | NoeFFe | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onkel Fester | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Jytte | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | OC | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Wilco | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | GrandDad Cleaner | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunnyAim | +5.01 | 95 | 57 |
| #2 | OC | +1.82 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | GrandDad Cleaner | +0.44 | 49 | 69 |
| #4 | NoeFFe | +0.16 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | Onkel Fester | -1.46 | 22 | 71 |





