








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2700 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2523 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2027 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2014 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,850 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keijomane | 48% | 109 |
| #2 | Laine ツ | 47% | 53 |
| #3 | World Eater | 45% | 99 |
| #4 | Armandö | 45% | 129 |
| #5 | Antimetal (⌐■_■) | 45% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keijomane | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | OGkarpo | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Armandö | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | World Eater | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Laine ツ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Armandö | 643 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | OGkarpo | 157 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | World Eater | 145 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | keijomane | 140 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Antimetal (⌐■_■) | 139 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hube | +4.30 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | Armandö | +0.85 | 72 | 84 |
| #3 | Laine ツ | +0.56 | 50 | 78 |
| #4 | Simpppaa | +0.52 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | keijomane | +0.38 | 74 | 61 |





