








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 621 | 23% |
| Smokes | 940 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 891 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 228 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,685 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coell | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Onkel Stuart | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | Grisling | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Flat Multipla, Car of the Year | 37% | 30 |
| #5 | LUCCCCCC | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Onkel Stuart | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | Grisling | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Flat Multipla, Car of the Year | 37% | 30 |
| #5 | LUCCCCCC | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | Madzzz | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Madzzz | 4 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Flat Multipla, Car of the Year | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Onkel Stuart | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | LUCCCCCC | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUCCCCCC | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Onkel Stuart | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Flat Multipla, Car of the Year | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Grisling | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | coell | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUCCCCCC | +3.48 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | Grisling | -0.13 | 40 | 58 |
| #3 | Flat Multipla, Car of the Year | -0.41 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | Cykalangelo! | -0.66 | 54 | 45 |
| #5 | Madzzz | -0.74 | 39 | 3 |





