








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3270 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3447 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2947 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2465 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,401,775 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ✪ PnB^ | 44% | 121 |
| #10 | Super n0u* | 42% | 69 |
| #11 | !RuNNeR | 42% | 130 |
| #12 | Frag0r | 39% | 169 |
| #13 | MinimaL | 36% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ chrisЯ^ | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | !RuNNeR | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | NathanS | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | MinimaL | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Frag0r | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ chrisЯ^ | 352 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Frag0r | 318 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✪ PnB^ | 268 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪ ausgebobbt^ | 238 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | !RuNNeR | 215 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MinimaL | +0.99 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ chrisЯ^ | +0.56 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | ryanR | +0.55 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | Frag0r | +0.25 | 62 | 67 |
| #5 | ropz | +0.16 | 75 | 65 |





