








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Renown | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3962 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3257 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3102 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3310 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,199 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabiiii* | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | Blake | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | V4RAZS | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | GARRETT | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | Z̳̿͟͞A̳̿͟͞C̳̿͟͞H̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞ ザ | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabiiii* | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | Blake | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | V4RAZS | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | GARRETT | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | Z̳̿͟͞A̳̿͟͞C̳̿͟͞H̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞ ザ | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GARRETT | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Z̳̿͟͞A̳̿͟͞C̳̿͟͞H̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞ ザ | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blake | 86 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Gabiiii* | 67 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Z̳̿͟͞A̳̿͟͞C̳̿͟͞H̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞ ザ | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | V4RAZS | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | GARRETT | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trukkos | +1.67 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | V4RAZS | +0.28 | 73 | 52 |
| #3 | Gabiiii* | -1.56 | 54 | 69 |
| #4 | Blake | -1.59 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | Z̳̿͟͞A̳̿͟͞C̳̿͟͞H̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞ ザ | -2.45 | 34 | 60 |





