








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1162 | 27% |
| Smokes | 957 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1135 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 999 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,466,628 of utility $267 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πππππβ₯ | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | Støvbrætt Uten Kost | 47% | 111 |
| #3 | Bergersen | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | Skavik | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | Moose on the loose | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Støvbrætt Uten Kost | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | πππππβ₯ | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Bergersen | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Moose on the loose | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Støvbrætt Uten Kost | 131 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | trudnaya shlyukha | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | πππππβ₯ | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bergersen | 24 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Skavik | 22 | 0.05 | 1 min |





