








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 903 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Wingman | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1981 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5016 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5005 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2770 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,663,822 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pred | 53% | 232 |
| #4 | toxic | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | GeneralTyler | 50% | 165 |
| #6 | SnooTiger | 45% | 38 |
| #7 | Toran | 44% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toran | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Pred | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | toxic | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | SnooTiger | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | GeneralTyler | 1 | 0.0003 |





