








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4837 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3108 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2506 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2374 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $805,247 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RestfulSHADOZ | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | haltz | 65% | 142 |
| #3 | sparrow | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | ForRyu | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | Juuno | 59% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X games mode | 524 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lord Bjorn | 211 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bubba | 190 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Juuno | 168 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | haltz | 113 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hendo | +5.17 | 92 | 64 |
| #2 | Lord Bjorn | +1.22 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | haltz | +1.04 | 79 | 51 |
| #4 | Bubba | +0.45 | 86 | 50 |
| #5 | ForRyu | -0.18 | 89 | 53 |





