








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2790 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2610 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3873 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2150 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,231,304 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaggerjakk | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | FaceT/NylliS<3 | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | TorV | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Kex | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | ☘Koffin™☘ | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skogen | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Oppyenx | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | FaT_RiGhT | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | TorV | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Lars Tommie | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skogen | 269 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | Boobie Ewing | 152 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | Oppyenx | 132 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kex | 117 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lapp magnus | 100 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rubenowski | +4.59 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | FaceT/NylliS<3 | +4.37 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | FaT_RiGhT | +4.04 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | FREDDE | +3.19 | 59 | 63 |
| #5 | Kex | +3.07 | 59 | 67 |





