








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Wingman | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1314 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2625 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2559 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2263 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,529 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cobbo | 49% | 132 |
| #6 | Dhonny | 48% | 161 |
| #7 | Rick | 48% | 139 |
| #8 | Rossatron99 [The Brand] | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | The Ombudsman | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick | 53 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | Dhonny | 22 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | blockhead | 18 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | The Ombudsman | 10 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | Starfish | 7 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blockhead | +3.27 | 73 | 52 |
| #2 | jordN | +2.91 | 75 | 45 |
| #3 | Rossatron99 [The Brand] | +1.19 | 56 | 59 |
| #4 | Rick | +0.59 | 49 | 63 |
| #5 | cobbo | -0.20 | 64 | 27 |





