










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1061 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 411 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7261 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6524 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5751 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6350 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,774,925 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VeXeN | 54% | 165 |
| #2 | ZJ | 53% | 250 |
| #3 | KingBru | 53% | 135 |
| #4 | twyztd | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VeXeN | 54% | 165 |
| #2 | ZJ | 53% | 250 |
| #3 | KingBru | 53% | 135 |
| #4 | twyztd | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZJ | 30 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | KingBru | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | VeXeN | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | twyztd | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZJ | 1057 | 0.21 | 28 min |
| #2 | VeXeN | 534 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | KingBru | 227 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | twyztd | 94 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZJ | +2.81 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | Kefka | +0.93 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | VeXeN | +0.46 | 49 | 64 |
| #4 | KingBru | -1.22 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | twyztd | -3.49 | 47 | 43 |





