








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1832 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2703 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1984 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 977 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,028,385 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buttaless | 55% | 102 |
| #2 | xvhs | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | luh steppa | 52% | 196 |
| #4 | I ain't scared of Dick! | 51% | 178 |
| #5 | ⟡bonk | 49% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | xvhs | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | luh steppa | 52% | 196 |
| #4 | I ain't scared of Dick! | 51% | 178 |
| #5 | ⟡bonk | 49% | 51 |
| #6 | Logster |GW | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I ain't scared of Dick! | 40 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Buttaless | 16 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | luh steppa | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ⟡bonk | 11 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | Logster |GW | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I ain't scared of Dick! | 1273 | 0.34 | 27 min |
| #2 | luh steppa | 329 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Buttaless | 287 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | ⟡bonk | 130 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Logster |GW | 103 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buttaless | +2.04 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | Logster |GW | +1.25 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | luh steppa | +0.99 | 75 | 45 |
| #4 | $auc3 | +0.62 | 43 | 41 |
| #5 | I ain't scared of Dick! | -0.30 | 50 | 65 |





