








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Renown | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2905 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3998 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3972 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3150 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,320,219 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G E R 1 - G#21=DD | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | noize | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | EKENDi | 50% | 66 |
| #4 | kori | 50% | 121 |
| #5 | Maki | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G E R 1 - G#21=DD | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | noize | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | EKENDi | 50% | 66 |
| #4 | kori | 50% | 121 |
| #5 | Maki | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kori | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | EKENDi | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | G E R 1 - G#21=DD | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | noize | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Maki | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EKENDi | 327 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | kori | 189 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | noize | 125 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Maki | 59 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | G E R 1 - G#21=DD | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kori | +1.98 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | JACKSONASD | +0.64 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | G E R 1 - G#21=DD | +0.50 | 78 | 53 |
| #4 | noize | +0.20 | 59 | 70 |
| #5 | EKENDi | -0.57 | 73 | 71 |





