








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2483 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3334 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3231 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2918 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,083,658 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CMOII | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | rabiak | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | JUURGEN! | 48% | 182 |
| #4 | Dewdrop | 45% | 77 |
| #5 | Togrqm | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JUURGEN! | 48% | 182 |
| #4 | Dewdrop | 45% | 77 |
| #5 | Togrqm | 45% | 51 |
| #6 | RayZer | 40% | 43 |
| #7 | Epsylon | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JUURGEN! | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Dewdrop | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Epsylon | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | CMOII | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JUURGEN! | 633 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | rabiak | 166 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | RayZer | 132 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Epsylon | 76 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dewdrop | 68 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RayZer | +3.95 | 92 | 64 |
| #2 | CMOII | +3.90 | 92 | 56 |
| #3 | JUURGEN! | +0.57 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | PHX | -0.03 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | rabiak | -0.06 | 63 | 73 |





