








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1610 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1722 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1153 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1236 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,585 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toucan | 347 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ronald' | 331 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Coolness | 316 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | masi | 247 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | zushi'enjoyer | 193 | 0.22 | 5 min |





