










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 719 | 24% |
| Smokes | 927 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1048 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 361 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $312,389 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRXZ | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | ai22sbro724 | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | :P | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Jazz | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | Butterhugger | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | :P | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Jazz | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | Butterhugger | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | f0tty | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | eCloudy | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f0tty | 2 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Jazz | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Butterhugger | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | eCloudy | 1 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRXZ | 51 | 0.37 | 2 min |
| #2 | Jazz | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | f0tty | 25 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | ai22sbro724 | 16 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Butterhugger | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRXZ | +4.71 | 76 | 76 |
| #2 | :P | +2.14 | 77 | 35 |
| #3 | ai22sbro724 | +1.08 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | Jazz | +0.21 | 51 | 63 |
| #5 | Butterhugger | +0.13 | 35 | 38 |





