








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2527 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2939 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2491 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1812 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,028,735 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Phos | 48% | 75 |
| #9 | Melody | 45% | 94 |
| #10 | Malk | 44% | 91 |
| #11 | Calcifer | 34% | 47 |
| #12 | michael jeet singh | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yibu | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Malk | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | www.1-800ez$$$.com | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Calcifer | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | hello? | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phos | 243 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Malk | 196 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Melody | 148 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yibu | 103 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Calcifer | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | senjokosa | +8.95 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Malk | +2.24 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | Melody | +1.45 | 77 | 51 |
| #4 | chiggn | +0.42 | 80 | 64 |
| #5 | hello? | +0.37 | 33 | 48 |





