








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 329 | 19% |
| Smokes | 466 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 552 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 388 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,139 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angry NPC | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | orangeb | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | Vettis | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | naga | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Wukkake | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angry NPC | 1 | 0.0149 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mibu | 235 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | JerryAlder | 95 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #3 | Vettis | 89 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wukkake | 88 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | a5o7 | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naga | +7.51 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | Angry NPC | +6.20 | 93 | 74 |
| #3 | Mibu | +2.25 | 75 | 77 |
| #4 | a5o7 | +1.70 | 92 | 65 |
| #5 | Vettis | +0.79 | 47 | 76 |





