








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 194 | 17% |
| Smokes | 340 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 426 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 201 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,389 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Culla | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | nothrath | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Ydoow | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Jimbo Slice | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Woofles | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woofles | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | kipling321 | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Culla | 2 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Ydoow | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Jimbo Slice | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ydoow | 176 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | Woofles | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | kipling321 | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jimbo Slice | 23 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Culla | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Culla | +2.21 | 70 | 48 |
| #2 | Woofles | +1.95 | 61 | 53 |
| #3 | xXx BanBoOosy xXx | +1.11 | 81 | 26 |
| #4 | Jimbo Slice | +0.86 | 54 | 56 |
| #5 | nothrath | +0.74 | 52 | 43 |





