










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 327 | 52% |
| Smokes | 119 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 95 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 86 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,949 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kANONSTRUP | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | xpress^ | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | [Churchill] donut | 41% | 27 |
| #4 | BBoll | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Rogild | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sl@vedoog | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | [Churchill] Maddog_DK | 35% | 31 |
| #8 | BadTox1c | 30% | 10 |
| #9 | [Churchill] Zippoface | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | Cuuxi | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BadTox1c | 3 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | BBoll | 2 | 0.0190 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Churchill] donut | 68 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | [Churchill] Maddog_DK | 25 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | sl@vedoog | 25 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | xpress^ | 21 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | [Churchill] Zippoface | 12 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Churchill] donut | +5.85 | 69 | 50 |
| #2 | kANONSTRUP | +4.40 | 50 | 51 |
| #3 | [Churchill] Sjakkadellik | -0.58 | 72 | 38 |
| #4 | xpress^ | -0.73 | 10 | 58 |
| #5 | Rogild | -1.35 | 25 | 45 |





