








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,568 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3353 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3541 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3647 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3027 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,668 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timpro | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | 「kieley jenner」 | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | .Lissa.ツ | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | 0nly | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | REDPHORMAN | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REDPHORMAN | 275 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | 0nly | 228 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | 「kieley jenner」 | 147 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | Timpro | 88 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | .Lissa.ツ | 63 | 0.02 | 2 min |





