








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 521 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 601 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8260 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7422 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6264 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6643 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,131,310 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | testocat | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | dmf | 56% | 87 |
| #3 | Flow1e | 53% | 237 |
| #4 | Thai Ming | 53% | 165 |
| #5 | bnger | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Thai Ming | 53% | 165 |
| #5 | bnger | 53% | 57 |
| #6 | Jawz09 | 51% | 55 |
| #7 | .ZerZic^ | 49% | 99 |
| #8 | ihnoe | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ihnoe | 13 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Flow1e | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | .ZerZic^ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | bnger | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | testocat | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flow1e | 1209 | 0.23 | 36 min |
| #2 | Thai Ming | 723 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #3 | .ZerZic^ | 385 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | dmf | 349 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | ihnoe | 304 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmf | +2.63 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | ihnoe | +2.11 | 68 | 72 |
| #3 | Thai Ming | +1.48 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | Flow1e | +1.32 | 68 | 73 |
| #5 | testocat | +0.29 | 69 | 65 |





