








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4771 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3859 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2691 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2560 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,358,642 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GetMeAPint | 59% | 92 |
| #2 | BronxBomberz | 50% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GetMeAPint | 59% | 92 |
| #2 | BronxBomberz | 50% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BronxBomberz | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | GetMeAPint | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GetMeAPint | 267 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | BronxBomberz | 209 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orange | +1.72 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | GetMeAPint | +1.24 | 74 | 72 |
| #3 | BronxBomberz | -2.39 | 48 | 46 |





