








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Wingman | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2245 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1382 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 5773 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 4456 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,601,515 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 845 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pethor | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | MichaB | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Cenedikt Bumberbatch | 46% | 78 |
| #4 | Thekenschlampe | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | drag | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | drag | 44% | 50 |
| #6 | ChiifooO | 41% | 46 |
| #7 | BOT XLRDMX | 35% | 40 |
| #8 | ovinatr | 34% | 53 |
| #9 | BFortress | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ovinatr | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Thekenschlampe | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Cenedikt Bumberbatch | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | BFortress | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ChiifooO | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChiifooO | 132 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | ovinatr | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | drag | 114 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Thekenschlampe | 103 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | pethor | 100 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thekenschlampe | +2.23 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | Cenedikt Bumberbatch | +1.49 | 39 | 57 |
| #3 | Hankytank | +0.76 | 55 | 51 |
| #4 | pethor | +0.57 | 43 | 75 |
| #5 | ovinatr | +0.01 | 29 | 64 |





