








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 460 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 327 matches | ||
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1884 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3579 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3619 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2616 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,377,112 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tronald Dump | 56% | 93 |
| #2 | H3DWlG | 53% | 77 |
| #3 | JESUSMORIENTTES | 51% | 237 |
| #4 | SeriozHenka | 51% | 251 |
| #5 | asduu | 51% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SeriozHenka | 51% | 251 |
| #5 | asduu | 51% | 140 |
| #6 | MUIKKUKUKKO | 49% | 39 |
| #7 | 𝗥𝗲𝙘𝘬𝓵e𝐳𝐳 | 49% | 156 |
| #8 | Rillipääsamiii | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝗥𝗲𝙘𝘬𝓵e𝐳𝐳 | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | SeriozHenka | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | JESUSMORIENTTES | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Tronald Dump | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | asduu | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeriozHenka | 883 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | 𝗥𝗲𝙘𝘬𝓵e𝐳𝐳 | 678 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #3 | JESUSMORIENTTES | 546 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | asduu | 301 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tronald Dump | 218 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rillipääsamiii | +1.79 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | 𝗥𝗲𝙘𝘬𝓵e𝐳𝐳 | +0.84 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | asduu | +0.44 | 50 | 71 |
| #4 | H3DWlG | +0.26 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | JESUSMORIENTTES | +0.08 | 52 | 65 |





