








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 954 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 417 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5808 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3348 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4300 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3856 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,972 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 834 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴹᶦˢˢ ᴮᶦᵗᶜʰ | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | s n o o z e | 52% | 65 |
| #3 | KorinFlakes | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | Skooshyy | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | AnimaWub | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Skooshyy | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | AnimaWub | 44% | 71 |
| #6 | Pondering wasp | 44% | 202 |
| #7 | KIKTWØ | 40% | 40 |
| #8 | One in a Krillion | 37% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s n o o z e | 12 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | AnimaWub | 11 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Pondering wasp | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | One in a Krillion | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | ᴹᶦˢˢ ᴮᶦᵗᶜʰ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pondering wasp | 545 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | One in a Krillion | 215 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Skooshyy | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | KIKTWØ | 72 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ᴹᶦˢˢ ᴮᶦᵗᶜʰ | 61 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skooshyy | +2.17 | 59 | 66 |
| #2 | One in a Krillion | +0.58 | 58 | 42 |
| #3 | Umbreon | +0.57 | 48 | 47 |
| #4 | s n o o z e | +0.39 | 59 | 17 |
| #5 | AnimaWub | -0.13 | 31 | 38 |





