








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,112 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2837 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2907 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2825 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2543 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $421,812 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ylä | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | nålaD | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | mfdumb | 54% | 106 |
| #4 | PHallina | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Dazak | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ylä | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | nålaD | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | mfdumb | 54% | 106 |
| #4 | PHallina | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Dazak | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazak | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | mfdumb | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | nålaD | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Ylä | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mfdumb | 323 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | PHallina | 154 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | Dazak | 93 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | nålaD | 70 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ylä | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eddi3 | +3.14 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | mfdumb | -0.04 | 55 | 72 |
| #3 | Ylä | -0.43 | 70 | 64 |
| #4 | PHallina | -1.26 | 59 | 82 |
| #5 | nålaD | -1.41 | 66 | 71 |





